ok so here's a little fun exercise for your faith...try it next time you have a few minutes...trust God. Its really something. I have no idea why this is such a struggle for me. God has not yet failed me, I am certain that day will never come. Everytime I am entering uncharted territory in life and need to rely on God its so stinking hard.
When I was growing up, I never had to worry about money. We always had enough as far as I knew, that and my dad was Mr. Cheapo (frugal as he would correct me). When Bobby and I got married, that was no longer the case. I was scared to death to trust God to take care of us financially. Now, that's a no-brainer for me.
When I was pregnant and things were terrifying and not looking good, it was the hardest thing to trust that God knew me, knew my circumstance, had not overlooked me, and that he was in control. It was a very very hard 10 weeks coming to that conclusion. Since the loss of that baby its been hard, but getting easier to trust him for my sanity, my health, my confort, my peace. I'm learning to trust him as my friend.
You'd think that after learning all of this it might be easier for me to trust God in the little things, the details, the logistics of life and ministry. Dang, its hard. I'm sitting here thinking, "I know, I know he's gonna take care of all of that stuff!" I'm not sure I really doubt his ability to do all that I need from him, to orchestrate all the logistical things of life, but do I really care to have to let him? nah. I'd rather just sit here in my office and know that he can without really having to do something that would require me to put that so called trust into action.
then there's my reminder...don't worry about what you will eat or drink, what you will wear or where you will live... God is more than able to supply all of my needs, even my need for trusting him.
No comments:
Post a Comment